Monday, June 7, 2010

elections


In case you have not studied your official voter information guide as closely as I have, I would like to share with you the highlight. Specifically, Republican gubernatorial candidate Douglas R. Hughes on page 43:

"As your governor, I will ensure all pedophiles will leave the State or volunteer to live confined to Santa Rosa Island, at no cost to Californians, as they will have their own self-supporting village, away from children."

Though I am not a pedophile-phile, I think this plan is less than ideal. Thoughts that come to mind:
1. How can I find more ways to use gubernatorial?
2. How does one get others to volunteer to join a self-sustaining village?
3. Does the tri-fenced border that features later on in his candidate statement come into play?
4. How does he guarantee the pedophiles will not procreate, thus creating children in the self-supporting village?

According to the Office of the Attorney General, law enforcement tracks approximately 85,000 registered sex offenders. Santa Rosa Island has approximately 84 square miles. To simplify the math, let's say 84 miles divided by 84,000 offenders... .001 mile. Which, google tells me, is 5.28 feet per offender.

I don't think even the famous island fox can run a productive self-sustaining village with just 5.28 feet per individual.

7 comments:

Taylor said...

ha! I literally just started laughing out loud as I read this making all the chinese students in my lab think I'm crazy.

I gotta meet this guy. I'd like to shake his hand.

But if you want crazy gubenatorial candidates from california then you've just scratched the surface!
This guy in particular makes me laugh pretty hard. http://www.aguirreforgovernor.com/
he plans on magically whipping up enough solar panels for 10 million homes and then once the state is completely energy self-sufficient on solar power (see: pipe dream) he wants to sell the power to other states and use the profits to build water desalinization plants and high speed railways. Did I mention he could then sell the water to surrounding states?

And here I thought I was the mad scientist. This guy has fallen clear down the rabbit hole.

Jodi said...

Wow. That's completely ridiculous. Who is this guy?? Poor California...they've kind of gone down the crapper.

Rileigh said...

I suddenly wish I was a California citizen so that I could help him in his campaign. Though someone should tell him about the devil fish that hunts that island in particular or did Karana kill it? I can't remember

krissiecook said...

Wow, as someone with a strong interest in preserving the Channel Islands, I think this plan is kind of amazing. I mean, if they could train pedophiles to hunt and kill wild boars and golden eagles, it might actually be beneficial to the natural ecosystem. Oh, and make it so they can only eat non-native invasive plant species, like fennel. He is really on to something.

Jenae said...

THIS is why we are friends.

poor raccoons...

jj

Debbie Lloyd said...

yikes! did the crazy guy win for governor?? just wondering if we should cancel our kayaking trip around the channel islands :O

Dad of the Year said...

1. Declare West Campus a sovereign state, with yourself as governator for life.
2. Chocolate.
3. Yes. It consists of concentric rings of oil platforms.
4. Think Jurassic Park.

P.S. After #1, you can set up your own postal service and sell stamps at $0.43 to undercut USPS. Revenge will be sweet.