Update. Nothing good, though, so don't get your hopes up.

Curiosity got the best of me, wondering if I really would ruin Brian Kendrick's life by recounting embarrassing third grade stories.
Well, he has bigger problems when it comes to google searches- apparently a WWE wrestler has the same name. Though that may be handy, because then you could blame anything shady in your past on a mix up.

If you can't tell, there is sickness in our house and we are pretty bored. More accurately, Andrew is typing three finals and I am bored trying to stay quiet.

p.s. The bar fundraiser turned out very uneventful as a rival group staged another (gasp) event down the street. Who knew there was such a market for underage Monday night events at bars?

You should hire Brian Kendrick - He's very observant!

Once, when I was in the third grade, we were all sitting on the rug in front of Mrs. Logan as she was teaching us. This one kid named Brian Kendrick (I REALLY hope this blog post comes up the next time a potential employer googles his name...) was sitting there in front of her. He then blurted out, "Mrs. Logan THAT (points) looks like the birthmark on that Soviet's head." Indeed, the purple nailpolish that she had spilled on her nylons uncannily resembled Mikhail Gorbachev's purplish birthmark.

Last night, I had my own Brian Kendrick moment as my husband bent over to kiss me. Perhaps it is all his study of Islam, but the combination on his forehead of scar and blemish perfectly constructed the star and crescent.

I asked his permission before posting acne on the internet, FYI. If you'd like an embarrassing aspect of my present life, ask about how I inadvertently ok'd a fundraiser for foster children to be held at a bar...

I can't get it out of my head...

Despite not having heard this song since approximately 1997, it has been in my head for the last week.

WARNING: There is a lot of 90s awesomeness, including two types of overalls on tough guys. And no, I don't understand the ladies dancing in front of cars or the strange ventriloquist dummy, either. If you have a low tolerance for music with excess soul, please start 50 seconds in.

the band's visit

Andrew and I recently watched a film I had been wanting to see for some time. I really enjoyed The Band's Visit. It is hard to describe how cool it is to actually understand the spoken Arabic.



Lest you be intimidated, the film has Egyptians and Israelis communicating, which is done mostly in English. Unfortunately, the trailer doesn't really catch the spirit of the film, but you can take a look anyway.

I'm missing Egypt...

...which may also be compounded by the fact that work and church responsibilities are back in full swing!


p.s. No, I did not always cover my hair. We are about to enter a mosque. And no, I did not wear a burqa, burtka, or boobka while I was there. (All actual pronunciations... I feel like I should join the mythbusters.)

Work Facebook

My employment has necessitated that I start a Facebook page for the nonprofit organization that I call home, which requires a personal profile. Not wanting to use my own, I had to start a work account.

I know several of you are thinking, "You're gone for two months and you come back to work and play on Facebook in this economy?" It's true. In fact, it is recommended.

It is weird 'friending' someone as my work self. They need to develop a new term. Thus, my aspirations of world domination via Facebook and our newly launched website are progressing quite slowly. (Perhaps the rest of the world is not as impressed that you can now request a volunteer OR sign up as a volunteer online.)

So, if you care about kids and education, I recommend you become a fan, supporting efforts to reconnect and revitalize the community through a coordinated campaign of volunteers and guest speakers.

I've been spending the last few weeks convincing my boss that Egypt should be a write-off since now I can be a guest speaker on the topic, thereby increasing our organization's capacity.

old alexandrian stuff for our friend seth

This is me in front of "Pompey's Pillar" which is really a misnomer as it was built for Diocletian. I have actually heard of him so therefore he is probably important. It is about 100 feet high. I touched it for you, Seth.

We also went to the Catacombs of Kom el-Shuqafa which was amazing. And the place that most tempted me to break the no cameras rule... Basically, it was a series of tombs that combined both Greek and Egyptian traditions and styles. (Which I see as symbolic of Seth and Andrew's relationship.) It was amazing to duck through all kinds of tunnels and see thinks carved in the first century. Pretty awesome. One of the coolest (literally and figuratively) things I've seen so far.

proof

A proud day

This week I proved for the first time that studying Arabic will one day feed my family. Michelle and I have a brand new oven in our Cairo apartment but we hadn’t used it because we didn’t have any cookware. We tried to light it, unsuccessfully, right after we moved in but I burned myself with a lighter in the process so I gave up. I know when all else fails to follow instructions but the instruction manual was entirely in Arabic and I couldn’t seem to find the section that had to do with lighting the oven, at least not on first sight. When we bought disposable baking pans and were desperate to eat meat we decided to try again. After skimming the instructions for a long time I realized that my knowledge of classical Arabic didn’t prepare me for the technical terms used in an instruction manual so I would have to translate my way through it or starve. I pulled out my trusty dictionary and made my best guess as to which section of the instructions had to do with lighting the oven. I translated the title and found out I was right. After skimming that section I still had no idea what it said so I set out for a word-by-word translation. Twenty minutes later, with my translation in hand, we successfully lit the oven. It was moment of triumph. It turns out that I just had to do the same thing I tried when we first arrived (I knew that lighting an oven ought to be intuitive) only I needed to burn myself a little bit longer with the lighter in order for the oven to catch. Celebrating small victories? That’s how I’ve survived four years of studying Arabic. And now I’ve proved once and for all that my translation skills can feed my family. Literally.

We are going to...

the Pyramids on Saturday! Can't wait. :)

We love Egypt because…

… museums and historical monuments feel no need to string those protective rope barriers or block off all the cool things you actually want to see. And, in some cases, touch.

Basically, this means Andrew is in seventh heaven. (An odd expression once you type it.) He can touch ancient things. He can look into things and out of things at will. He can climb old minarets to the top and no one will stop him.



It is quite liberating for me as well, as I do not have to be nervous about him being thrown in a foreign prison. And, I get to touch and climb myself.

Photography has proven a bit challenging. One, I have a pesky lint spot somewhere inside and no matter how many parts I clean I can’t seem to eradicate it. Two, I am having a hard time deciding what to take pictures of. Here is my plan:
1. Pictures of anything Andrew spends extra time looking at. Because he will inevitably turn around and say “Did you get a picture of… (old Islamic thing)?” (That makes me sound uneducated. In reality, I am also taking an Islamic art and architecture class and I have a pretty good idea of what is important.)
2. Things that help me remember feelings I have. Like, wow, there are a billion satellite dishes here.
And, hmmm… those are sheep walking down the street.
It is really hot and we are tired.

3. Old things. This is where I run into trouble. Old things: pyramids, check. Lots of ancient mosques, check. Turkish houses from the 1700s? Cool, but not old. (When in doubt, take pictures anyway.) Things that seem terribly modern here are often from the Middle Ages. “New” renovations to mosques were often completed in the 13th century. It takes a paradigm shift.

4. Juxtaposition. I love irony, contradictions, and general studies of extremes in any form. There are lots in Egypt.



(This is the door of a small mosque that is being restored. The threshold step is taken from ancient Egypt. You can see the name of Ramses II in hieroglyphics if you turn it upside down. It has been reused in a newer, but still terribly old building. Next to modern trash.)

ana uhib maadi

The internet has been a bit spotty, sorry. Perhaps it too is affected by the 45 degree heat… It is so hot.

It is hard to think of what to share about Egypt. I like it very much. It took a few days for our bodies to get used to the time change, the heat, the water, the food. I ate my first fruits and vegetables last night and I am still feeling well.

I would hate to be judged by any of America’s airports, so I will refrain from doing so about Cairo International. However, there is something mildly unnerving about having your body heat-scanned (there is a great deal of worry about swine flu) before entering that puts you a little on edge. They have been quarantining the students at the American University of Cairo (AUC). And then they loose the taxi drivers on you…

Driver’s Ed: One honk means “Hello, I am here”. Or, “American tourist I would like to give you a ride.” Two honks: “I am coming,” “I am about to run you over,” or “I am going to cut you off now.” Three honks is reserved for the most serious of offenses. Like the taxi that scuffed up a brand new bright yellow VW. Everyone stopped and watched that epic verbal sparring. Mostly, the cars just touch and go on. The best way to accurately describe the sight, smell, sound, and motion of all cars is the Autopia or bumper cars. We have ridden in a taxi once, to a bookstore the driver was not familiar with. He spent most of the trip out the window asking the passerby for directions.

I really like Maadi, the suburb where we live. It is certainly a very tame part. Originally it was home to mostly foreigners, but they have mostly moved to the newer areas and now it is a very nice (as shady as you get) suburb with middle-class Egyptian families. Most people live in apartment buildings though there are also some very nice villas.

The best time of the day starts about 5 p.m. That is when everything comes to life. We like to walk at this time. Stores reopen a little before this and remain open until midnight or so. People come out into the street and play soccer and cards and generally sit in the open park areas in the middle of the squares.

A few nights ago, we went walking out along Corniche Al-Nil, which is a walk along the Nile River. I won’t lie- I was so desperate for a form of semi-safe protein that we hunted down an American restaurant (TGIFridays) and indulged in a chicken burger with beef bacon. Until that point we had been advised by our instructors to be very careful about what we ate and I think we had eaten every form of cheap carbohydrate possible. We shop about every other day at the Metro (market) not to be confused with the Metro (train system).

I have been greeted with lots of fun English phrases. “Hello” and “blease” are most common. There is no “p” in Arabic script. People will also greet me warmly with “How are you doing?” and “What is the time?” or any other English words they know. I am sure I sound even worse. Fortunately there are about a thousand ways to say hello in Arabic, so I am just cycling through them all with our doorman.

One random story for Flem:
On Friday, we went to church for the first time. It was a little strange to walk in off an Egyptian street into a little villa they had converted into a church building. (Everyone in the branch is affiliated with the AUC or the government/embassies.) I felt a bit out of place dressed in traveling clothes until we sat down behind these little heads that looked a lot like the little Flemlings… There was a Casey with his arms crossed at the end, a mischievous looking Bridget (same haircut!) in the middle, and then a little Gillian and Meg trading off for Dad’s lap the entire meeting. Brought a little of the GV to Maadi for me. I was even more pleased to learn that over the summer they drop to the two-block schedule because so many of the families leave for the States.

I have lots of homework! Did you know you actually have to learn two almost separate languages to be able to do much? And, there are three different “h” sounds, two of which I am terrible at. I am having a blast in my classes. I am a super nerd, by the way. I am trying out all the vocabulary I am learning on my teachers. Yesterday I told one instructor that “It is hot. I love this fan.” (In case you need it: Il dunya har. Ana uhib hathihi marwaha.) That is practically a paragraph of speech. He laughed pretty hard.

BTW, all teachers of EL students should really be stuck somewhere where they know very little of the language. I am watching myself adopt all the random coping methods my students did. I am also identifying all the methods I used to convey meaning to students with little vocabulary as well.

So… what’s new with you? I could really use some English.

inappropriate content

So, I may or may not have just flagged my own blog "inappropriate" as I was unable to discern which button said "flag as inappropriate" and which one said "log in" in Arabic. Oddly, not the first words I've been learning in class. Did you know Blogger kindly converts to Arabic script for you? Ilhamdu lillah.

Travels

In exactly two weeks I will begin dwelling in Egypt for nearly two months. I have never been much of a clothes person, but lately I have been freaking out over clothing. What does one wear in an extremely hot and conservative country?


None of these outfits look particularly cool...

What are your best travel tips?

BFF

Jeppesens, you're never allowed to move.

Vaya Con Dios, Sparks

leave approved today

commission aka come visit

I know the vast majority of my posts are about organizational tools. I find order soothing. Today, I received a great compliment. "Michelle, you should teach classes about how to be a real life adult." Little did she know I'm still taking the course...

I bought a shelf similar to the one above. Except prettier, and one hundred dollars cheaper. I have put the vast majority of my belongings on it, freeing up approximately 20 square feet. It has taken the place of the filing cabinet, and then some. This means I now have room for house guests, so bring it on.

How did I finally get the filing cabinet open? I took a hammer and physically pried open one of the drawers. I then covered every moving surface (and many of my files) with WD-40 (I am my father's daughter). I then invited Andrew to pull them all out. He felt exceedingly manly about being able to conquer the beast until I mentioned the WD-40...

Just wait- the next blog just may be about the beautiful new pants hangers that I diligently researched and requested for my birthday. And don't pretend you don't care. I know for a fact two of you actually enjoy the same shelf love I do.

come, listen

My favorites from last General Conference:
- Joseph B. Wirthlin talking about his daughter's blind date and how his family's sense of good humor was an important tool in raising his children (that is/was also true in my family).
- Dieter F. Uchtdorf's message about hope (one can always use a good message about hope).

How do you and your family prepare?

It's that time of year... (a rebuttal)

...when I'm grading stacks and stacks of papers and final exams about world history and not missing teaching because I'm endlessly reading the dumb stuff that college-age kids, who ought to know better, are saying. Below are a few of my favorite comments--all from one stellar paper--but let me preface them with an apology to every Canadian ever:

"From my knowledge I do not know if Canada has done anything that had a great impact in the world, in which its history should be recognized."

"Even for me, someone who knows nothing about Canada and does not know the different provinces except Toronto...."

"Me as a U.S. citizen would go;"

"By studying environmental history we can predict the future."

It's that time of year...

... where I (simultaneously) miss teaching all the time and wish I could be back in the classroom AND really don't miss that long stretch of March where the kiddos are absolutely nuts and there are few holidays in sight. Maybe that's just three career days talking!

Apparently my friends are also feeling a little introspective about the profession:
Flemsta
Ms. Houston

I am going to clean my house and craft additional entries to their lists.

Follow the Prophet...or else?

I read a lot of random stuff in graduate school. Studying the Middle East pretty much ensures that but I'm convinced that most grad students are forced to absorb bizarre, useless information regardless of their field of study. This week I stumbled upon what is perhaps my all-time favorite tidbit of random knowledge.

I am studying Spanish history right now, especially the roughly 700 years (711-1492 A.D.) when Muslims ruled portions of Iberia. My professor wanted me to read about the treatment of Muslim heretics.

This is what I learned:

"In case of necessity, some jurists allowed the killing of religious deviants and rebels and eating them."

Eating them? In case of necessity? When it is ever NECESSARY to eat a heretic? If you're the Donner Party, lost and dying of starvation in the wilderness, far be it from me to judge you for cannibalism, but eating heretics? In Spain? For real?

Here's the full reference so you know I'm not making this stuff up: Maribel Fierro, "Religious Dissension in al-Andalus," Al-Qantara 22 (2001): 475.

The lesson here: follow the Prophet.

kosher

I worked until 10 p.m. on Monday night and Andrew was very busy all day. As we settled into bed for the evening, we finally had a chance to talk. We checked in on each others' day and then there was that silence right before you fall asleep.

What did my husband break the silence with?

"I love you," "Goodnight," or "Sweet dreams"?

No.

"I want a pickle."

one cane + Chinese grandpa =

One sweet leap across a lagoon-flooded path. I wish I had a real picture, because there was serious air involved in this maneuver.

i may look like an idiot

But, I did check... no locking mechanism on this cabinet. That was my first guess. I thought the metal rod had slid down and blocked everything- it hasn't. I even read on the internet on how to drill out the lock. In case you are curious, there are A LOT of places on the internet that teach you how to break into things!

thrifty gone wrong

I have been foiled by an inanimate object. It is not a pleasant feeling.

You may remember a previous post about the filing cabinet I secured from nearby the dumpster of treasures and the joy that I felt in being able to organize facets of my life.

No more.

Last week, after much enjoyment and organized living, all five drawers of the giant steel filing cabinet ceased to open. After about a week of looking at it in consternation I took more drastic measures. On my sick day, I managed to use a hammer to pry open and pop out an entire drawer.

The other four will not move. Suggestions welcome.

the first official lecture

So Andrew has been a T.A. for ever now and teaches sections all the time. However, he recently gave his first lecture in front of a packed hall of almost 400 students. It was pretty exciting to see the return on my investment. He was awesome. This is a picture of him, his professor, and my brother (who works technical support at UCSB and came out to make sure everything went o.k.) in front of Andrew's power point projected on the big screen. I won't lie, it was pretty neat to see him up there, doing his thing. Students near me actually gasped as he rattled off long Arabic names with no trouble at all. Feel free to post encouraging remarks about Andrew being successful and getting a job one day so I can direct him to this post during the next "what am I doing with my life?!?!" end of the quarter breakdown. :)

why i should wear glasses more

My infallibility has recently been called into question, what with the never-ending sickness. And the LONG (not small or new mind you) gray hairs that are ALL OVER MY HEAD. That is a post for another time. Anyways, I am finding two or three reasons a day why I should wear my glasses more often.

Exhibit A:
On our January trip to Utah I crashed a snowmobile not because I can't drive, but because it had gotten so dark I couldn't see the road turn. (Never fear those of you that live near me--- I always wear them while driving.)

For other pictures of our trip, see Jenae and Jodi.

sick day

I'm not minding taking a sick day on this rainy afternoon. I feel fully justified in watching random internet television. Today: Little Mosque on the Prairie.







I feel somewhat justified watching it on youtube because it is only available in Canada. The show is in its third season. The first one is not amazing as far as acting goes, but I like how they explore stereotypes and issues of fitting in a dominant culture as the "other". The second and third seasons actually have better character development and plot. Plus, if you are interested in some of the issues facing contemporary Muslims it is a fun watch.

Also, this clip about the show kind of made me laugh. Who looks like the extremist here?